So...I am living in residence as of Saturday. It's interesting. When I asked how old most people were, I was told 18-19. When I said I was 22, a girl said 'Oh cool, there's a few older people here.' I thought that was kind of funny. Anyway, I am at Humber; school seems okay. I am watching lots of How I Met Your Mother. That's about it.

I noticed that one of the featured weblogs on Xanga was entitled What Can You Do With an English Degree.

Am I the only one who finds humour in that title?

Whisper, Whisper, Scream! (Or 4 Things You Should Know about the film 88 Minutes)

1. I did not actually sit down and watch this film.
It was playing in the background while I searched the web for random facts and tibits about The Fall of the House of Usher,  which is unrelated to this post. However, I did guess the killer when seeing her face before it was revealed. So I feel if I can do that I can talk about this film and how bad it really is, which is something most of you probably know.

2. It was written by the guy who wrote Hollow Man.
And Hollow Man 2, and The Fast and The Furious, and 2 Fast, 2 Furious. He is also working on a threequeal to The Fast and The Furious called (and this is soo original) The Fast and The Furious! He also wrote K-911 which starred Jim Blushi and a dog. Spoiler Alert: Those movies sucked!

3. It is not actually 88 minutes long!
I know, I was upset too. It is actually, according to IMDB, 108 minutes. See, Al only has 88 minutes to live, but we don't find that out until 20 minutes into the movie.

4. Al Pacino needs to be in better movies.
This is an obvious one I think. He is a good actor, (I think), but the roles he picks as of (roughly) the last ten years have been terrible. The last film I think I saw with Al that I thought was good was 99's The Insider. I think many fans and critics alike are bored with his whisper, whisper, scream form of acting.  As a young child my mother used to tell me that she loved Al Pacino because he kind of reminded me of my father. While I don't see any resembalance, I sort of always feel like my mother would want me to at least watch a bit of one of Al's new films when it comes on DVD, of course Gigli was an exception, but I think, after seeing this film I simply may stop. Sorry mom, I just can't do it anymore.

Currently Reading In Cold Blood By Truman Capote see related

He comes, and he goes, and even if he doesn't come

So, I am going to Humber; now I just need a place to live. I applied for residence, which would be good if I got in, because it would be on campus and cheaper then an apartment. However the downside is that I probably would be living with 18 year olds who may ask me to buy them beer. I would feel kind of like a creepier; a 22 year old living with 18 year old freshmen; kind of like that guy in Superbad who invites Michael Cera, and Jonah Hill to that party.  I could look for an apartment, well I have been, but I haven't found a nice one that suits my price range. I also havent't saved as much money as I would have liked for Janurary, which is my own fault, but I am sure I will make it through.

The thought of going away excites and depresses me; I am excited because I finally get to move away from home, (sort of) live on my own, and be in a program that I think I will do well in. Even if I don't make a career out of it, I am still pumped to be in it. However, I am depressed; depressed because I am leaving Sudbury behind; although I don't really have anything here, it kind of bums me out. I am also bummed out because I am leaving my job; my job that over the last two years I have bitched and complained about, but over the last 6 months really began to love. It's like I have created a family away from my family; and now I am leaving both. I am sad I won't be cooking professionally anymore. I say professionally because even though I know I am not a 'chef', I have come to realize that I am pretty damn great I would I do, and to stop doing that kind of seems frusterating. It's like working at a company and being executive V.P., with the possibility of being President one day, and then just leaving. It is funny too because Humber has a Culinary Arts program which I would love to check out; to see what they learn, and where there skills are at and to see how I compare to them, but that just isn't a good idea. Cooking is not a career or lifestyle I could sustain for the rest of my life. I did it for two years and loved it, but now I guess I have to move on. 

I hate moving on. I am not really good at in. Even in my current relationships I still haven't really let go, and move on in the traditional sense. That also kind of freaks me out; leaving the few people I still am close to in Sudbury behind. I don't know how to deal with that. I have never, dealt with any kind of loss, not that leaving friends and family behind in a different city is the same as lossing someone to death, but in my melodramtic mind, it also feels the same. The big ball of nerves that is my body thats me thinking of the worst possible situations that could happen when I move away; which I am sure is normal, and I'm not the only person who has felt this way, but it still sucks. I think of the worst possible scenerio that could happen with my girlfriend if I move, or the worst possible scenerio that could happen if I get a crumpy apartment and what not.  I just don't want to be alone.

In Season 1 of Mad Men, at the end of the final episode, the main character Don Draper comes home to an empty house; his wife and kids have left him to go to his wifes fathers house. She suspects him of cheating; she is right. He slumps on the stairs, his face craddled in his hands and sighs. Cue in 'Don't Think Twice it's Alright'. To me that is one of the saddest scenes I have watched in a while. Perhaps it was because that song resonates with me (I once told someone I wanted it to be my wedding song, quickly realizing that was stupid, but none-the-less, I still love it), or perhaps it is because I love Mad Men, or perhaps it's because I sort of feel like Draper does in; alone in a way. It's silly because I am really not, it just feels that way.

Or maybe that song resonates with me because I am excited to go see Dylan in a couple weeks; or at least that's what I hope

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

I was in Starbucks the other day, and as usually it was really busy. I had order a grande no whip caramel frapachino with an extra espresso shot. I used to mock people who order drinks with long names like this, but I digress; there were roughly about 15 people in line and/or waiting for their beverages, and I was about in middle of the line/waiting for my drink. I began to notice that people who ordered after me were getting what they ordered before me, which is okay; most just got ice teas and little coffees. after about 5 mintues of waiting for my drink i started to feel dumb; like my order was waaay too complicated for the Starbucks employees to handle. I felt like everyone was starring at me; thinking that I didn't know what I was doing, like I didn't know where to place my order. I think I even started to break out in a minor sweat. 

It reminded me of being in gym class and playing a sport and everyone getting picked before you and everyone already picked just starring blankly at you. Silly isn't it? Anyway I got my drink, or at least I think it was mine; they had accidently put whip cream on it, (or maybe it wasn't mine, but I could stand there looking aimlessly at the girl making the beverages.

It just felt weird waiting for my drink by myself; I wait other places for food by myself, or go to the gym by myself, and like go to the movies by myself, and it doesn't bother me. That situation did, and I don't know why.